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Dark Souls 3's promotional mobile game Slashy Souls is terrible


The good news: Dark Souls 3 now has a free promotional mobile game called Slashy Souls. The bad news: It’s dreadful.

Published by Bandai Namco Entertainment America in association with GameStop for iOS and Android platforms, this endless runner/slasher is touted on the App Store as “the hardest game ever,” which is serves as a positive spin on “this game is f***ing impossible”. And I don’t mean it’s challenging. That would be fine. Instead it’s a brutally unfair, poorly designed gauntlet of cheap, unearned deaths.

Slashy Souls puts you in the clanking armour of a knight constantly running right to avoid a smoky wall of death. Along the way you’ll encounter all manner of demons that you must slash to kill, yet every strike roots you in place for an extra split-second as the fog keeps gaining on you. Your only moves are tapping the screen to slash, swiping up to jump, down to roll, and holding the screen to stand still and block – which you will never do. Outside of that, there are spells you can pick up providing shields and bursts of flame that can be activated by tapping on their icons.